When I'm Not Posting

   It’s not that I don’t have anything to say or write about. Sometimes I just have so much, I don’t where to start and more often than not, I get jammed up.

The pain certainly doesn’t stop or go away. The depression does lessen…sometimes. It’s the questions that don’t stop coming and the frustration that keeps banging on my brain like a loose shutter in a noreaster that bangs on the side of the house.

It’s not being able to keep it fun and light when I want to and the feeling that I’m not getting my point across when I just let go with both barrels that leaves me twisting in the wind. Sometimes, it feels like the pain is all I have. All I have to turn to. I guess , it’s because we know each other so well.

To Blog Or Not To Whine Like a Baby

First things first. Yes, I realize it's been over a year. It's not like my inbox was flooded with 'Where are you?"  or  "We miss your funny little stories!" or "Please, we have been enjoying watching as you slowly go insane!" emails. So, this post will be going out across all my blogs, just in case you see numerous duplicates of it popping up here and there and that goes for all three of you..or is it five? Look, I know I posted somewhere that I was done posting…or ‘whining’ about my chronic pain and all that is dragged along with it like so many bent and rusty tin cans tied to the bumper of a wedding carriage that derailed and has been lying in a ditch somewhere, the corpses long ago feasted upon by zombie-squirrels. But things change. In all actually, THIS may be my last post. Or not.

I don’t know where to turn when you’re sent to a psychologist who ends up telling you , for three consecutive sessions, how hard of a time HE is having adjusting to life in the south, unfriendly neighbors, and a boss that just doesn’t get him. (All the while, you’re unable to get comfortable in a leather chair that Winston Churchill would have adopted as the son he never had, and you have enough opiates swimming through you to down a football team for a weekend because nothing is cutting through the pain.) So, I’ve come back here. Come ‘home’ as they might say, though they say ‘you never can go home, again’ or is it Paul Simon singing ‘Gee, but it’s great to be back home”? Right. Cause ‘home is where I oughta be’.